Welcome to the Battle of the Bands at the 2016 Discworld Convention! You have been called upon to give your support to one of a number of up-and-coming bands on the Morporkian music scene, to help them achieve the kind of immortality all heroes dream of.
(Which is to say; public, spectacular and dependent on the labours of hundreds of other people who'll be forgotten because they aren't heroes.)
These legions of supporters are the Crews; the usually-overlooked people who Get Stuff Done so that the stars can do the whole fame thing.
They all want to win the Battle Of The Bands. This is their big break. They're going nowhere without your help. You can make it happen. Go out there and get that top spot - and have a lot of fun in the process!
You may notice on your membership page on the DWCon website that you have been preassigned to the Crew of one of the five bands in this year's Battle. We should stress that this is in no way binding - taking part in the Battle is optional; and if you do decide to take part in the Battle, you will be able to select a different Crew now, or join the Crew of your choosing at an event on the Friday of the Convention.
Once you have joined a Crew, there will be various (hopefully fun and possibly challenging) events as part of the overall contest, leading eventually to the grand finale on the Monday of the Convention.
About the Bands
This is the modern Disc! - and Ankh-Morpork, the city of steam and iron, has a new sound coming up from the streets; a raw and blistering noise that takes no prisoners and stops for nobody. They are The Crash; born in a laundry, raised on the railways - and here to give a voice to the voiceless and a battle flag to the underdogs. They look unlike anything you've ever seen before. Their sound will blow you away. This is Morpork calling. The time for Steamed Pvnc is now.
A blend of Llamedonian bardic tradition with Überwaldian death of metal (silver) era music . The band consists of druids, vampires (Black Ribboners only of course) and zombies. They’ve campaigned heavily for Undead Rights and have a good following among both the living and the differently alive. They welcome any and all beings into their crew and fan base so long as no one gets eaten. Their biggest hits include Dead from the Ankh Down, Ghosts of the Dysk and their instrumental piece featuring howls, screams and groans 'Eine Kleine Nachtrockmusik'.
The first rule of Metallurgica is: Your Parents Must Hate Your Music. Metallurgica are the hell-for-leather offspring of a bunch of dwarves and trolls who have decided to abandon their traditional enmity and gang up on the old farts of their respective societies instead.
Metallurgica represents an update of Music With Rocks In, pithily known as Music With Metal In. This is the music of choice for angsty teenagers (or teenager-equivalents) to bang their heads to while simultaneously annoying all parents, family members and neighbours in a 2-mile radius.
Ulrich Larsson, progenitor of, and spokesdwarf for, Music With Metal In has stated the following "Beer! Gold! More Beer!". Metallurgica bass player, Skarn, agrees; "Trolls have always been good with drums, and Music With Metal In means we can be good with other stuff, too."
The Guild of Funk & The JB’s
(Formerly the Tower of Artsolute Power)
Wherever the music is hot and the cats are cool, you'll find the Guild. Story has it they started out down towards Genua somewhere, with a horn section and a few others from the small surface dwarf carriage-building settlement of Oak Lantern. They originally came to prominence with blues and jazz from the Genuan bayou, but hit the big time with the influx of a horn section from the Carriage Town. This larger band debuted with the tight funk beat of the nostalgic dwarf anthem "I'll Still Be Diggin' in the Ground", followed by the horn-based "Duke Sir Captain".
'Do you hear it? Across the Disc, there’s a whisper in the wind and a bustle in the hedgerow, calling all of us to band together and make great music.
Ymuno! - the freewheeling and hugely creative result of a fusion of fiddles, fifes, frolicking and a hefty swig of scumble - is coming to the Great Wahoonie.
You’ll lose nights to the music. You’ll lose wits to the quaffing. You’ll have the time of your life. Celebrate with Ymuno!